Each answer equals 2.75 points. Let’s play!
Elections
Zelensky – Won by capturing 73% of the vote
Trump – Won by capturing just under 50% of the vote.
Support of the people
Zelensky – 57% despite suffering through three years of a Russian invasion. Numbers are again rising thanks to Donald Trump’s insults.
Trump – 44% and going down after two months in office
Reason for still being in office
Zelensky – The Ukrainian constitution forbids election during times of war (did I mention the Russian invasion?), as it would be impossible to hold democratic elections.
Trump – Is in office rather than prison because he stacked the courts with loyalists during his first term. Tried to bypass the constitution when he lost before, led a mob on Congress to try to block our democratic process.
Standing in the world …
Zelensky – 45 sovereign nations have offered military and/or financial support for the Ukraine to fight off Russia, including the U.S. prior to Trump taking office.
Trump – Has called for handing over Ukrainian territory to Russia, aligning the U.S. with a handful of countries such as Russia, North Korea, Iran, Cuba and others with weak democracies or operating as dictatorships.
Aggression towards other countries …
Zelensky – Too busy at the moment as he’s fighting off one of the world’s super powers, and countering threats from another, which would be us.
Trump – Has threatened Canada, Mexico, Panama, Greenland, Denmark with either economic or military warfare. Is abandoning alliances with countries we’ve called allies since the Second World War.
Response to wars in his own country …
Zelensky – targeted by Russian missiles and bombs, regularly visits the front lines.
Trump – had to miss out on Vietnam because of bone spurs, but suffered through his own “personal Vietnam” trying to avoid catching V.D. in the seventies and eighties. Surprisingly, you can’t make this stuff up.
Attitudes toward Russia …
Zelensky – Would really, really like it if Russia was to stop bombing his country and killing its citizens.
Trump – Wants to hand over part of the Ukraine to Russia, normalize relations with Russia for economic gain, and punish any country which doesn’t do the same.
Attitude towards each other’s country …
Zelensky – would likely kiss the ass of every American in gratitude for their support over the last three years.
Trump – wants control over the Ukraine’s natural resources for past military assistance (despite the fact the assistance was arms, which American companies and workers profited from). If they refuse, he’s threatened that Zelensky will “no longer have a country.”
Method of Ruling …
Zelensky – steadfast resolve in the face of an overwhelming enemy
Trump – wants the U.S. to develop the reputation of being an overwhelming enemy in order to secure the support of countries which aren’t as powerful. Adheres to Nixon’s strategy of convincing other leaders that he’s a madman and should be feared. Instead, the world and half of his own country fear that rather than a madman, he’s simply nuts and his incompetence could bring about the end of the world as we know it.
Personal Life …
Zelensky … has been married to the same woman since 2003
Trump … The first American president to have been married three times. First wife, Ivana married an Austrian husband for citizenship, then divorced him. Moved to Canada under false pretenses and became a citizen after marrying Trump. In a deposition taken during the divorce, Ivana accused Trump of rape, who countered later that she didn’t mean rape when she said rape. She instigated the divorce when she found about his relationship with the woman who was to become his second wife. Trump divorced his second wife after reports appeared that she was cheating on him. His third wife and our current First Lady was also an immigrant, securing her visa via dubious means.
Finances …
Zelensky ran a successful entertainment business prior to entering politics and has a fortune estimated at approximately 1.5 million US dollars.
Trump – Made his fortune heading multiple companies, regularly declaring bankruptcy while engaging in shady or downright illegal business practices. Dollar amount not available as he refuses to release the numbers unlike every U.S. president has for decades, but he can tell you it’s a lot. A whole lot, certainly more than him.
SCORE:
Not necessary as there are no winners in this game. Zelensky certainly isn’t, and Trump isn’t a dictator. Just a dick.